Seeker's Anguish - Pathway To Realization

In the mid ocean of loss

22/11/2006 07:08:34 PM

In the mid ocean of loss of my teacher’s physical presence, suddenly I realized, me, present in the mid of infinite expansive still waters, sitting alone in the boat which has no provision for rudders and having no idea of direction, in the twilight. I have to call it as light, without effulgence, or no light, no darkness or twilight because these above mentioned state of existence is perceivable with what and how I perceived, no idea and a feeling is there and that I was made to see those things, utter silence prevailing, as there are no sounds or movements, I presumed it as silence, rather my being is the personification of that which is may be the source of that very silence or something different than silence or ‘ perfect stillness’, and thought can not reach nor thought can remain, can I call as thoughtlessness, no it is much more than that, then what it is, I am attempting to put it this way, when there is no perceiver and no perceivable existence even then there is something and that is what it is. How was I able to illustrate all above mentioned?

When My Teacher made that state to prevail in me and after making me to experience of that state and thereafter while bringing me out of that state, He bestowed on me the consciousness of that order which can experience, note and remember them as experience and able to bring down to that level where and then it is possible for those experiences to explain and put to writing and only He knows for what purpose for which He administered this process in my being. His training purpose was making the being to realize, though He might have used any tool for that purpose’s accomplishment All along my tutelage under Him, during the times He was physically present, He sparsely used the medium of oral communication to communicate to me for my training nor I ever engaged Him with that medium. But I never felt that anything He left in His communication for training, rather I was always convinced that He never left anything which needed to be communicated, whichever is essential to me for my training. It used to be, I feel now, happening automatically depending upon my past, present and future needs and requirements. He was engaged completely in training only though I know nothing about it.

That Physical Presence made all those things possible to take place and affect the training upon all the individuals through the different tools of communication mediums depending upon their individual needs while present before Him and all

the times it is this experience of one and all that their doubts, clarifications expected, dilemmas and direction sought were, cleared, given, vanished accomplished automatically and satisfied are those souls who used to return to their homes, with a feeling of accomplishment.

That consciousness veil He unveiled parallely sharpening my mind to understand the above unveiled state. This process of unveiling innumerable states of consciousness He set into motion from the time He left His Mortal Frame. Perplexed mind of mine couldn’t interpret the experiences due to the existing shock of His Leaving the Physical Body as well as the event of dispossession of Raichur Ashram.

About two weeks ago an abhyasi brother asked me to put into writing of my experiences with the great one for the benefit it could give after reading the same, then why not? This prompted me to try to know first myself and understand myself of all those years of His Training which He imparted to me.

When this suggestion was made to me, I heard and it appears that my heart accepted it but yet I don’t know what to do? How to do? What happened thereafter?

My Master and My Teacher opened the retrospection wing of my mind, as well they transmitted the analytical element and orderly thinking methodology to my mind and created in me a one pointed orientation with a swiftness to reach wherever they want and whenever they want and however they want?

This is to my utter dismay and wonder and it is happening till now indicating to me that they are the Masters of that art and Me and it happens only when they decide.

His Physical Presence was enough for me than any amount of training and blessings, grace and whatever and I was satisfied with that, but not He, He kept training me for all eventualities of life without giving me any knowledge about it so as to reveal itself when that appropriate time presents.

The process of enfoldment has begun to find Him and keep unfolding all the layers and bundles to find Him and to find Him and keep finding Him all through and all along and when that process of unfolding is over you end up in finding Him there too and now without any layers or bundles, levels and states and status, planes and dimension, degrees of intensities, as well the beginning, the middle and the end and that very path and method is He alone and He alone and now what remains The Pure Divine.